Everyone tries to network, but few people do it well, often making the same basic mistakes.Here’s what not to do when you’re trying to expand or leverage your network:

每個(gè)人都嘗試建立自己的社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)，但是真正做得好的卻寥寥無(wú)幾。很多人都會(huì)犯一些基本錯(cuò)誤。當(dāng)你在試圖擴(kuò)大或利用自己的人際網(wǎng)絡(luò)時(shí)，不要再犯以下的錯(cuò)誤了：

1. Try to take before you give.

還沒(méi)付出就想有回報(bào)

The goal of networking is to connect with people who can help you make a sale, get a referral, establish a contact, etc. When we network, we want something.

建立人際網(wǎng)絡(luò)的目的在于與人聯(lián)系，希望便未來(lái)在銷(xiāo)售、引薦、聯(lián)系等需要的時(shí)候派上用場(chǎng)。 總而言之，當(dāng)我們建立人際網(wǎng)絡(luò)時(shí)，都想從中得到點(diǎn)什么。

But at first, never ask for what you want. In fact you may never ask for what you want. Forget about what you can get and focus on what you can provide. Giving is the only way to establish a real connection and relationship. Focus solely on what you can get out of the connection and you will never make meaningful, mutually beneficial connections.

但是注意不要一開(kāi)始就索取你想要的。事實(shí)上最好永遠(yuǎn)也別這么做。把想要的東西忘記，著重于你所能提供的。給予是建立良好關(guān)系的唯一途徑。如果一心只想索取，那么永遠(yuǎn)也不可能能建立起真正有利并且互惠的關(guān)系。

When you network, it’s all about them, not you.

與人交往時(shí)，他們才是主角。

2. Assume others should care about your needs.

認(rèn)為別人都應(yīng)該在乎你的需求

Maybe you’re desperate. Maybe partnering with a major player in your industry could instantly transform red ink into black. No one cares. No one should care. Those are your problems and your needs.

或許你很絕望，或許你的商業(yè)伙伴能夠瞬間讓你扭虧為盈。但是事實(shí)上，沒(méi)有人會(huì)在乎你的事情。也沒(méi)有人有這個(gè)義務(wù)。那些都是你自己的事。

Never expect others to respond to your needs. People may sympathize but helping you is not their responsibility. The only way to make connections is to care about the needs of others first. Ask how they’re doing. Ask what could help them.

不要期望別人在乎你的需求。人們或許會(huì)很同情，但是幫助你不是他們的責(zé)任。與人交往，從關(guān)心別人的需求開(kāi)始。詢(xún)問(wèn)他們的近況，并在需要時(shí)伸出援手。

Care about others first; then, and only then, will they truly care back.

先關(guān)懷他人，然后，也只有這樣，才能換來(lái)別人的關(guān)懷。

3. Take the shotgun approach.

采取撒網(wǎng)策略

Some people network with anyone, tossing out business cards like confetti. Networking isn’t a numbers game. Find someone you can help, determine whether they might (someday) be able to help you, and then approach them on your own terms. (according to the conditions that you decide)

有些人交朋友就像天女散花一樣。與人交往，不是靠量取勝。把目標(biāo)放在你能提供幫助的人上面，判斷他們對(duì)你是否(將來(lái))對(duì)你有用， 再根據(jù)你的分析去接近他們。

Always select the people you want to network with. And keep your list relatively small, because there is no way to build meaningful connections with dozens or hundreds of people.

建立人際網(wǎng)絡(luò)要有所選擇。盡量保持相對(duì)較小人際圈，因?yàn)槟銦o(wú)法跟上百個(gè)人都建立有意義的聯(lián)系。

4. Assume tools create connections.

認(rèn)為社交工具真的有用

Twitter followers, Facebook friends, and LinkedIn connections are great—if you do something with those connections. In all likelihood your Twitter followers aren’t reading your tweets. Your Facebook friends rarely visit your page. Your LinkedIn connections aren’t checking your updates.

在推特上有粉絲，在臉譜網(wǎng)上有好友，在關(guān)系網(wǎng)上有聯(lián)絡(luò)，這些挺好—如果你能夠很好的利用的話。但是十有八九，你推特上的粉絲不會(huì)閱讀你的狀態(tài)，臉譜上的好友也不會(huì)來(lái)訪你的主頁(yè)，關(guān)系網(wǎng)的連接對(duì)你的近況也沒(méi)有興趣。

Tools provide a convenient way to establish connections, but to maintain those connections you still have to put in the work. Any tool that is easy or automated won’t establish the connections you really need.

這些社交工具讓社交變得更加方便，但是要維持這些關(guān)系需要投入真功夫。任何簡(jiǎn)易或是自動(dòng)的工具都不能幫你建立起真正需要的人際網(wǎng)絡(luò)。

5. Reach too high.

目標(biāo)人群不切實(shí)際

If your company provides financial services, establishing a connection with Warren Buffett would be great. Or say you need seed capital; hooking up with Mark Cuban would be awesome. Awesome and almost impossible.

如果你的公司業(yè)務(wù)是金融服務(wù)，那么和沃倫.巴菲特結(jié)識(shí)倒是不錯(cuò)。或者說(shuō)你需要?jiǎng)?chuàng)業(yè)資金，那么能搭上馬克.庫(kù)班簡(jiǎn)直就是帥呆了。帥是帥，但是幾乎不可能。

The best connections are mutually beneficial. What can you offer Buffett or Cuban? Not much. You may desperately want to connect with the top people in your industry, but the right to connect is not based on want or need. You must earn the right to connect. Find people who can benefit from your knowledge and insight or your connections.

最好的關(guān)系是雙方能夠互惠互利的。你能給巴菲克或者是庫(kù)班什么呢?沒(méi)什么吧。 你或許拼命地想要和這些頂尖人士結(jié)識(shí)， 但是這種結(jié)識(shí)的權(quán)利不是你想要或者是你需要就會(huì)有的。你必須要去爭(zhēng)取這種權(quán)利。那些能夠從你的知識(shí)與見(jiàn)解或者人際關(guān)系中獲利的人們才是正確的選擇。

The “status” level of your connections is irrelevant. All that matters is whether you can help each other reach your goals.

在人際網(wǎng)絡(luò)中，地位是無(wú)關(guān)緊要的。重要的是雙方之間是否能夠互相幫助，達(dá)到自己的目標(biāo)。